On Your Own
by sweettartcrazy
Summary: Bella gets sent to live with her older siblings Rose & Jasper, at the Cullen's house,after a tragic accident! Bella is lost in a new world with new people and she meets Edward who is just as lost. Can they find each other and open up to one another?A/H
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

**So here is my new story. This should be updated soon because I already have a lot of it planned out. If you started my other one, I'm sorry. I should have a new chapter up with in a week. But I hope you like this one!**

When you come back I'll be alright  
On your own again  
Back to where it all began  
The phone don't ring  
And the tears they fall  
but you carry on and on and on

On Your Own-Green River Ordinance (**you should play this throughout the chapter. I think is goes pretty good with the story)**

**BPOV**

I sat with my arms wrapped around my legs and my cheek pressed up against the window of the cab. Fields of green passed by, but my eyes were to blurry to really see…anything. My cheeks were stained with what seemed to be endless tears. Forks. All it is, is green, cold, and much like my tears, endless rain. I might seem like one of those girls where all there lives are filled with drama. Well, that's defiantly not me. I don't even know how to be that kind of girl. No, I was Bella Swan average looking with brown hair and brown eyes. The girl who lived in apartments in beaten up neighbor hoods, with no hot water, No ac or heater, moved to a new school and apartment almost my entire life. It was only ever my…mom…and I since my older brother and sister left to go to college here in Forks. I haven't seen them since I was eight. My…um mom….she's the reason I was here, the reason Jasper and Rose were never there growing up, the reason I had and still have bruises, and the reason I was broken and alone. Even though my life was hell, because of her I can't help but to miss her. She was all I ever had. All I ever knew. She was my comfort zone, and I was permanently being taken out of my comfort zone and pushed into a world filled with designer clothing, million dollar houses over looking the beach, and cars that were nicer than anything I've ever seen. I was pulled out of my thoughts when the car approached a huge white house that looked straight out of a fantasy.

I got out and the driver helped me pull my duffle out of the back. I reached in my messenger bag that was hanging over my shoulder and handed him the money that July, the CPS worker, gave me for the drive here. He thanked me and gave me that look. The one that held wonder and pity. I was used to it and it's only been three days.

I walked up to the huge door and rang the bell that was to the right of it. I was scared of whether my family would accept me after all these years, scared whether they'd be mad that I was disrupting their perfect lives.

There was no more time for being scared though, because the door started to open. Pulled all the way back it showed one of the only two people I had left. She was tall and had blonde hair that went past her shoulders. I didn't know her anymore, yet I felt safe being near her.

"Rose" It came out like a muffled sob. I dropped my bags and she came forward and enveloped me in a huge hug. She pulled away and stepped back quickly, as if she wasn't suppose to show any affection towards anyone.

"Come on. I'll show you your room." I grabbed my bag again and stepped in, closing the door behind me. I started to follow her and we went up two flights of stairs. When we got to the third floor, I saw two doors side by side. She pointed to the one on the right.

"This ones yours." She pointed to the one on the left. "That ones Edward's. He's 's son, the people who own the house. Anyways, there is a door in there that leads to the bathroom. You have to share it with him, but he doesn't talk much so I don't think it should be a big deal. Um….Jasper should be home soon and then I think we should sit down and talk. But you can go ahead and get settled then come down stairs." She said it a little rushed. She probably wanted to be out of the awkward situation just as much as I did. I just nodded and watched her walk down the stairs.

I turned the knob on my new bedroom door, and gasped when it opened. The roof was slanted and was almost the size of my whole one bedroom apartment, when I lived with….mom. I set my bags down on the blank king size mattress that was in the middle of the room.

I walked over to the two doors that were side by side and opened the one on the left. It was a huge walk in closet that could probably fit a car. Too bad I only have a sweater, jacket, three shirts, and a pair of pants.

I moved on to the next door. It was the bathroom. It had a counter with two sinks and a mirror that opened up to a cabinet on each side, a huge glass walk-in shower, and a toilet.

There was after shave and a blue toothbrush on the counter. I hadn't even thought about sharing the bathroom with a complete stranger. _I wonder if they are really okay with me being here. I mean, they already have Jasper and Rose here._

I walked out and closed the door. I sat on the bed, afraid to go down stairs. _Oh well I should probably go talk to them._

I was walking down the stairs and being my usual self, tripped on the last step. I waited for the impact of the floor, but it never came. I looked up to see short blond hair surrounding the face that looked similar to Rose's, but manlier. It was Jasper.

Neither of us said anything he just pulled me into a hug. When he let go he walked me over to where Rose was sitting and we both took a seat. They were on the couch and I was in the chair across from them.

I noticed a box that was sitting next to Rose on the floor, but didn't say anything. No one had said anything so I decided to speak up.

"How come you guys never made contact with me? Why did you leave me? Why did you never call or write? You promised you would come back for me!" I meant to talk calmly with them, but due to my crying I ended up yelling it at them. Rose answered back calmly but fiercely.

"Bella, we spent almost all of our free time during college trying to track you down. Whenever we called, the phone was turned off. We checked your school but they said you moved, and couldn't tell us where you went. When we called mom's work, they said the same thing. When we went to the apartment it was empty, and the neighbors said you were long gone. We told you we would come back to protect you, and we tried, but she kept you away from us!"

I couldn't even breathe.

"You're lying she would never do that. You just didn't want to be around us!" I protested.

"No she's not Bella. The social worker gave us these. She found them next to the um…pills…she..um..took." He picked up the shoe box and handed them to me.

I opened the box and saw hundreds of letters that were forwarded to wherever we were living at the time. I picked up the one on top with my shaky hand, and tried to stop my tears. I opended it and I saw a birthday card with a design and the number nine on it. A five dollar bill fell out of it. The writing said…

_Bella,_

_We wish we were there. Love you so much! I hope you_

_get to put this to good use! Call us so we can wish you a_

_happy birthday! Love you forever!_

_Jasper and Rosalie!!!!!!_

There was a number under there signature. I dropped it and opened the next letter it said stuff like, "Don't lay a hand on her," and "We will come back to get her." The next one though to have been opened and was addressed from mom to them.

_You have no idea who you're dealing with. Bella deserves to be hit. She's ungrateful just like you two were. _

That was the first line and it shocked me to the point I couldn't breathe she kept them from me. I spent my whole life hating them for something they didn't do. There was no way they were lying because it was her writing. I threw the box off my lap and started running to the door. I saw their faces as I passed them, looks of shock and worry painted on them. I didn't stop though. I just ran straight out the door, passing a group of people who were probably the Cullens. Did I stop? No, I kept going and felt the tears streaming down my face. I could hear them yelling, but didn't stop.

"Why me? Why did she do this? They were all I had? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY ME?" I was in hysterics. I couldn't see and just realized I had fallen and was on my knees. Also, that Japer and Rose both had their arms wrapped around me.

I didn't understand why she did all of this. Why she killed herself, why she didn't love me, why she didn't let me see them. And the one that hurt the most, why did it have to be me?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

**Ok so this is a new story but I already have this Chapter ready so…..here it is! Oh and I know that in the end of the first chapter I said she saw the Cullen's. But remember the house is huge, and everyone was giving the three of them time to talk. So that's why there won't be many Cullen's in the start.**

Jasper and Rose had finally managed to get me off the ground, and inside. We talked for what seemed like hours. They told me how everything's been going in their lives. Well I guess you could say we were reconnecting. There were a lot more tears, and in the end we all kind of understood each other a little bit better. Even though I loved finally being able to talk to them, I needed to be alone, to be able to think about everything, and just cry without any one looking at me with pity.

"Would you mind if I went to bed?" I sounded hopeful.

"No, go ahead! You are probably really tired. Mrs. Cullen said they would love to meet you tomorrow. And we will show you around the house. She said if you are hungry just help yourself. The kitchen is through that door." Jasper pointed at the door across the room.

I stood up and wished them a good night. I headed towards the stair and finally realized how beautiful the house really was. It was probably big enough for me to get lost in too.

When I got to my room I went to the bathroom door and knocked. No answer. I shut the door behind me and looked up into the mirror. What I saw….it….was me, but I looked paler than usual. My eyes were red and puffy with black and blue circles under them. I hadn't slept in four days. Every time I closed my eyes I saw the pain killers that were spread out all over the room. The worst part was seeing what I found when I came home from school that day. Her lying face down……..

I was brought out of my thoughts by the sound of a distant guitar. Before I could even move lyrics flowed out in a voice that had to belong to someone with their own set of pain. Who ever it was had an amazing voice, but you could tell they were hurting inside.

I walked out of the bathroom and into my room. I saw a window that I hadn't noticed before. I reached down to unlock it. When I finally got it pushed all the way open I heard the words more clearly. I looked out towards the beach and saw a silhouette sitting in the sand with a guitar in their hands.

And I'd give up forever to touch you  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now  
And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight  
And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am  
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything seems like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive  
And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am  
I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am

The mysterious person picked up a handful of rocks, and threw them one by one into the water.

When the person was left empty handed they turned and walked up towards the steps that led from the beach to the pool and patio. The light from the pool lit up the persons face and I realized it was a guy about my age. He had auburn colored hair that seemed as though he ran his fingers through it constantly. He fit the description of a Greek god. He had on a pair of black skinny jeans and a black jacket with a guitar case in his left hand.

As I was in my trance I saw the person start to tilt their head upwards as raindrops fell on to his face. I jumped back away from the window and threw it shut.

**Ok I know that was a short chapter but it is just kind of a fill in for later chapters. Its just kind of there to pick up the pieces of chapter one. The next one should be better, sorry!**


	3. Shopping

**A/N**

**Ok this is the third chapter it should be a lot longer than the second. Plus the song below I think represents how Bella and Edward are realizing that they do need to talk to people. And that they can't just rely on themselves. Hope you enjoy!!!!!**

**My Heart-Paramore**

**I am finding out that maybe I was wrong that I've fallen down and I can't do this alone Stay with me, this is what I need, please? Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you we could sing our own but what would it be without you? I am nothing now and it's been so long since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope this time I will be listening.**

I woke up to a knock on my bedroom door.

"Bella, breakfast will be ready in ten minutes." Jasper said from the other side of the door.

"Ok…um…I'll be down in a couple of minutes." I replied groggily. I heard his foot steps fade away so I pushed my self out of the bed. I grabbed my bag with my toiletries in it and walked over to the bathroom door. No one answered when I knocked so I just walked in.

I looked up at my reflection in the mirror and noticed my hair was a mess, my red and puffy eyes had dark black circles under them, and my face was stained with dried tears.

I turned the faucet on, filled my cupped hands with warm water, and splashed my face. I pulled my hair up into a loose bun with strands of random hair framing my face. I grabbed my cover up out of the bag and opened it. _**Great, just what I need.**_ It was empty except for a few crumbs. So I brushed my teeth and walked out of the bathroom with my dark circles from lack of much needed sleep, uncovered.

I left my short soffe shorts on and pulled a large maroon sweater with ASU in large letters on the front. That was the college I wanted to go to, but somehow I don't see that happening anymore.

I walked down the flights of stairs and heard people talking in the dining room. I pushed the door open and the room went dead silent as everyone noticed I was there.

Rose and Jasper hugged me and wished me a "good" morning. Then who had to have been Mr. and Mrs. Cullen approached me.

"Hi sweetheart! I'm Esme and this Carlisle. I hope you made your self comfortable. This is your home now to so don't be afraid to use or do anything that you would at your…old home." Esme said to me in a motherly voice.

"Thank you…..um…Esme, Carlisle." I stuttered.

There was an awkward silence for a couple of seconds and I noticed that there were three other people in the room.

The small pixie like one came up and pulled me into an embrace almost knocking me down in the process.

"Hi, my name is Alice! We are going to be great friends!" She was full of energy. I didn't say anything I just forced my self to smile.

Then the Big burly headed one came up to me and pulled me into an embrace, and I could tell he was just like Alice.

"HI! I'm Emmett!" He nearly shouted. Again I forced myself to pull a smile.

Moving on to the next person. I almost fell over when I noticed it was the guy from last night at the beach! I looked up and noticed he was staring at me, with a strange expression on his face. His eyes were boring into mine and I could tell that they were a striking shade of green.

They held a soft gentle expression, but if you looked closely enough you could tell he was troubled. He stepped forward not breaking the strong gaze our eyes held.

"Hi…..I'm Edward." His. Voice was quiet and angelic. I looked down and noticed he was waiting for me to shake his hand. I stretched mine out to meet his. As soon as our palms touched I felt a shock that traveled up my arm like a spreading fire.

He must have noticed it to because he looked down at our hands then back up at my face over and over. We pulled away when I heard some one clear their throat.

"Well, let's not let the food get cold." Carlisle.

Breakfast was interesting, to say the least. There was a lot of small talk that I hadn't heard. I also noticed a lot of pity looks thrown my way. But mostly it was just awkward.

Edward hadn't looked up from his plate at all, and he had not said anything except the occasional asking someone to pass something to him.

I kept my head down most of the meal too. Then when we were through I tried to help but Esme wouldn't let me. So I pulled Rose aside.

" Um…Rose? Would you mind taking me to the mall? I…um have some money saved up….and the money that….um…she…had stashed. And I really need to get some things." I let out along with my shaky breaths.

"Of course. I actually have to get some clothes. I also have to go to Wal-Mart to get some groceries and other things. I was going to take Alice too. Would you mind? If you don't feel comfortable with her we can just go later. It's up to you…." She trailed off.

"Um…No I don't mind….she seems really….fun….energetic….but fun."

"Do you think she'll mind going to the mall."

"oh. Defiantly not. She loves to shop!"

Rose went off to find Alice while I changed my shorts and grabbed my messenger bag. I met them down stairs when I was done.

"Yay! Lets go shopping" Alice yelled running out the door and jumping into a yellow Porsche.

I just looked at Rose and mumbled a laugh as we followed the pixie outside.

When we got to the mall we walked towards Dillard's. I had to get pants, shirts, pajamas, and a swimsuit.

"What size are you in pants Bella? Maybe I can help you, while Rose gets her clothes?" Actually could you that would be great.

We walked over to the jeans and I was looking through the racks when she spoke.

"So what do you think of my brothers?" she asked nonchalantly.

"Um….Emmett is intimidating, but he…um…seems like a big teddy bear…..Edward seems…..sort of…um…I don't know….pained?" I struggled for words.

"Ya….even though Emmett seems intimidating he is more of the big brother type. Then….there's Edward…he is not really my brother…even though it feels like he is….he was adopted, when his parents passed away….but that's not my story to tell."

The rest of the time at the mall was filled with light conversation. I found myself actually having fun for the first time in a long time. I still couldn't stop thinking about Edward though.

We got home from Wal-Mart and the mall at about six thirty that night. I ended up with multiple outfits, new pajamas, a jacket, a swim suit, all the needed toiletries, an I home, and stuff to use in my room.

Alice and I got a long great and I was actually excited about spending time with her. I learned she is in college and is dating my brother. She also is three years older than me.

Rose helped me set up everything in my room, and was about to leave when I called her name. She stopped and turned around at the door. I walked the ten steps toward her and pulled her into an embrace…

"Thank you….for everything" I mumbled.

"Oh...Bella your welcome. I'm just glad to have you back, and if you need anything I'm here!" With that she turned and left the room.

I got called down for dinner about an hour later, and it was a lot less awkward than breakfast. Although Edward was the same; quiet and staring down at his plate. He caught me staring at him, and I don't know what made me do it but I gave him the look I had been dreading when people gave it to me. Yep the one filled with pity. He got a confused look on his face then looked straight back down to his plate.

I got to know everyone a little better. I learned Rose was dating Emmett too. I'm glad my siblings were happy!

After I asked rose if I could use the pool tonight and she said it was fine so I went upstairs and pulled my new swim suit (it was a two piece and was black with blue polka dots covering it) on with my cover up on over. I headed out side with my I home and I pod, realizing it was now about eight thirty and was dark outside.

I dropped my towel off and headed down to the beach. I set my I home down and turned it on. Paramore flowed out of it and I walked down to the edge of the water and stepped in. The water went up to my ankles. I heard some one behind me so I turned only to be met with piercing green eyes.

It was quiet and neither of us said anything.

"what did they tell you?" he spoke anger tinting his voice.

I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"They…..um….Alice…said your parents passed….away when you were younger and you were adopted…." I trailed off with a shaky breath.

He didn't say anything but I could see all of his emotionsd through his eyes. He almost looked…scared. He looked down at the sand then back up at me. He looked as if he was going to say something then turned away and walked back up to the house with out a word.

**A/N**

**HEHEHEHE!!!!!! Sorry to stop it there, but I got to save some for the next chapter. I think I am going to do an EPOV……what do you think? Reviews keep me encouraged to write faster. They help me by telling me what people think. So please review!!!!!!! The next chapter should be up soon. Tell me what you think????**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**

**Hey guys! I'm going to pat myself on the back. I have been getting chapters out for this story rather fast! I hope you like this story! I defiantly need to know what's going through your minds! Is it good, bad, or otherwise?**

**BPOV**

I felt the need to follow him, but the fear of getting pushed away again overpowered me. So I grabbed my stuff and headed to the pool.

The water was dark and mysterious. You couldn't see the bottom through the fog caused by hot water hitting cold air.

I set my I home down away from the pool, turned it on and Unbreakable by fireflight flowed through the speakers. I walked over to the diving board and stepped up on to it. I looked down at the water and walked to the edge of the board.

**Where are the people that accused me?  
The ones who beat me down and bruised me  
they hide just out of sight, can't face me in the light  
they'll return but I'll be stronger**

I jumped into the darkness below me. The water enveloped me and I pushed my self down away from the top of the water.

**Sometimes it's hard to just keep going  
but faith is moving without knowing  
can I trust what I can't see to reach my destiny?  
I want to take control but I know better**

I'm not sure how long I stayed under, but my lungs were burning. I felt so weak…so….. Numb?

**God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been  
I want to go there, this time I'm not scared  
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable  
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me**

My eyes were drifting shut and my gaze was foggy, when I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist and pull me to the surface.

**EPOV**

I felt bad for leaving her with out any answers….but it wasn't Alice's place to tell her anything.

I couldn't describe the pull towards her. I wanted her to know everything. For her to hold me, and I her. No matter how strong the pull was I couldn't let her in. I was a monster and I didn't deserve her.

What confused me even more was I didn't even know her. How could I be so attached to some one?

I felt my self wanting to tell her everything, but I couldn't she's already been through a lot.

Instead I would keep to myself like I always do. I would stay away from her, because not even Esme or Carlisle knows what really happened.

I thought I could keep away from her, but that changed when I heard a splash and a song by the band Fireflight come from outside.

I looked out my window and saw her dive into the water. I figured she would come back up in a couple of seconds, but I saw nothing. My heart started beating faster as I threw my window open and climbed down half of the tree, and jumped the rest of the way.

I threw off my shirt and dove into the water.

**Forget the fear it's just a crutch  
that tries to hold you back  
and turn your dreams to dust  
all you need to do is just trust**

I reached her and threw my arms around her waist and pulled her up. We broke the surface and she started coughing up water. I set her down on the step in the shallow end of the pool.

"Are you Crazy?" It just came out of my mouth.

I looked over to those big brown eyes and everything just crumbled around me.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was strained. "I'm sorry….Alice told me. I'm sorry I had to come here. I'm sorry that you hate me. I'm just….sorry." She nearly shouted.

I kept my hold on her eyes, and I saw a tear slip down her face.

It hurt to know that I caused her pain. This was exactly what I didn't want to happen.

I pushed myself forward, and she met me half way. We both were wading in the water to keep ourselves afloat. I reached up to cup her face and felt that shock that I felt the first time I met her. I wiped her tears away with my thumb.

**BPOV**

**This time, this place  
Misused, Mistakes  
Too long, too late  
who was I to make you wait  
just one chance  
just one breath  
Just in case there's just one left?  
**

I faintly heard the song shuffle on my I-pod to Nickel back, but I couldn't really focus, because I was in a place so dangerous, and risky that I could end up broken even more than I already was. I felt that shock again as he wiped away my tears.

I didn't understand anything going on in my life. Anywhere from my mom, my family, or why Edward hated me, but could make me feel completely safe in a matter of five seconds, to the pain in his eyes.

I looked up to see his intense green eyes staring down into mine. I felt his hands slip around my middle back and pull me closer. We started leaning in, and my eyes were drifting closed.

We were an inch away and all I had to do was lean in and I could feel his soft lips on my own. His breath was hitting my face.

I started to lean in and I felt him drop his arms and pull back.

"Im…sor…I can't." He pushed away from me and climbed out of the pool. I watched as he grabbed his shirt then walked in through the back door.

**I wanted  
I wanted you to stay  
'Cause I needed  
I need to hear you say  
That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I forgive you  
For being away for far too long  
So keep breathing  
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it  
Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it  
Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
Hold on to me and, never let me go**

The tears slipped down my face and I climbed out of the pool. I grabbed my stuff and ran towards the door, but I tripped on the sidewalk. I didn't have the strength or the courage to get my self off the ground so I laid there as I started sobbing.

I was so sure he felt the spark. So sure he wanted me just as much as I did back there. Then I realized how stupid I must be to think someone like him would ever like someone like me. Broken. My breathing started evening out and I heard the back door open. I felt two strong arms pick me up bridal style and carry me into the house. I could hear two people talking but couldn't make out the words.

I felt the comfort of my bed and finally opened my eyes to see Emmett leaving the room, and Alice sitting on the edge of the bed looking at me.

"Hey." I whispered hoarsely.

"Hey. Do you want to talk?"

I didn't really want to think about anything right now, but I really needed to let everything out. So I told her everything from my mom to when we were in the pool.

"OH, Bella I'm so sorry! And about Edward….I'm sorry that you think he hates you but I can defiantly tell that is not the case. He looks at you like he's afraid he's going to hurt you. Or maybe he's afraid to get hurt. But I think if you give it time he will open up to you. I can't honestly say I know everything that happened in his past, because I don't. He hasn't told any body not even Carlisle and Esme. And I don't know how to explain it but I just have this feeling that he is going to tell you what really happened. Just give it some time. And you are going to have to make the first move…"

I let her words sink in. I didn't understand it, but maybe she is right. I'll just have to try to get to know him. But something in side of me was screaming for me to proceed with caution, because I was in way over my head.

"Thanks Alice. I really appreciate it. With everything that's been going on its really great to….have a friend to talk to."

"No problem Bella! Just remember, don't hesitate if you ever need to talk." I nodded as she waled to the door.

" You should try to get some sleep it's pretty late."

"Thanks again. Night"

She left with a final goodnight, and I was left to my thoughts. Which is exactly the place that I had been trying to avoid for a long time.

I sat up in my bed after staring at the ceiling for twenty minutes.

My window was shut so I'm not sure how I heard it but I did. Edward playing his guitar down on the sand again.

I got out of bed and checked out the window to make sure it was him. It was. So I grabbed my jacket and threw it over my camisole. I ran down the stairs tripping more than once. I flew past a clock on the wall and saw that it was past midnight. I reached the door, opened and closed it quietly. I ran past the pool and down the steps to the sand until I reached him. He was facing the water and I slowed my steps.

(RUN BY SNOW PATROL)

**Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear  
Louder louder  
And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say  
To think I might not see those eyes  
Makes it so hard not to cry  
And as we say our long goodbye  
I nearly do**

His voice was so soft yet so powerful, and full of so many emotions.

I sat down right next to him. And he looked over at me not shocked to the least bit that I was there. Our gaze was held, and it was so strong…almost like an understanding of each other.

He never looked away, just kept playing.

**Have heart my dear  
We're bound to be afraid  
Even if it's just for a few days  
Making up for all this mess  
Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear**

The song ended and we just stared at each other. After a while I spoke.

"That was amazing!" my voice barely broke a whisper.

He looked shocked and confused. He stood up and walked over to the edge of the tide.

"Thanks….So why are you out here?" It came out soft but the words stung.

I remembered what Alice told me in the room. _You'll have to make the first move…Just give it time._

"I…um…I couldn't sleep." I walked up next to him.

"So what are you doing out here?" I asked calmly.

"I come out here every night. I am an insomniac. I usually cant sleep with out the nightma…I..uh…I usually just wake up.

I could tell he was lying, but I didn't push.

"So…..what's your favorite color?" I asked, hoping to ease some of the tension.

He looked at me like I was crazy. His lips started twitching, until he was full out laughing. I thought about what I said and what's been going on lately, and quickly joined him.

"Brown." He said after his laugh died down.

"Yours?" He asked.

"Green!" I blurted out my cheeks growing red. I hoped he didn't say anything.

The rest of the night continued on like this. He would ask a question then I would. I'm not sure how we went from hating each other to this (even if I didn't know what _this_ was), but I was glad. We said nothing about our past. That was too sore of a subject for him.

We had talked until the sun started to show. And ya I know that it was night time when I came out, but he said he couldn't sleep and I couldn't with out waking up crying so I didn't exactly want to.

"We should probably go inside.." Edward told me. He glanced at his phone that he took out of his pocket.

"Its six thirty-eight."

"Wow. We talked for six hours." I was shocked. And for the first time in a long time I hadn't thought about my mom.

"I guess we did." He looked almost…..guilty?

Neither of us said anything when we were walking back to the house. We went our separate ways at our doors.

I got in the warm shower, and washed my hair with my strawberry shampoo.

When I got out, I saw that there was an outfit layed out on my bed. I walked over to it and saw a note on top of it…

_Jazzy and I are out on a date._

_Tonight we are going out. _

_I'll give you details later. _

_Be in this by six tonight!_

_Love Ya_

_Alice!!!!!!!!!!_

I looked down at the outfit, and saw a gold and black bikini with short jean shorts, sunglasses, and a cute pair of flip flops that matched my swim suit.

_What did she have planned???_

**A/N**

**PLEASE!!!! Tell me what you think?**

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	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**

**PLEASE READ PLEASE READ PLEASE READ PLEASE READ PLEASE READ**

**Ok I am going to start off by saying Im sorry for not having a chapter up last Tuesday like I said I would. But I didn't get to write in the car because I had to keep the driver awake. Then we stayed an extra day. SO…..I didn't get to write then and when I got home it was my birthday. I had a wedding to go to after that. Also when I got home all of our cable got shut off. And I had two other birthdays, and mostly just didn't have time to write. So I am sorry and I hate that I promised chapters and didn't get them to you. But I will soon, because I am open for the next couple of days to write.**

**Thank you so musch if you took the time to read this.**

**Love,**

**Sweettartcrazy!!!!**


	6. Secrets all around

**A/N**

**Alright sorry for the delay again. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I don't want to rush into the whole Edward and Bella thing. But I might start to introduce them. Alright thanks again for being patient with me.**

**-sweettartcrazy**

I dropped the note, and threw on a pair of black shorts that cut off mid thigh, a grey sports bra, a black jacket, and puma sneakers.

I headed down stairs and saw Emmett eating a bowl of cereal in the kitchen leaning against the counter.

"Hi Bewa." He spoke mouth full of cereal.

I laughed and grabbed a granola bar out of the cabinet.

"Hi Emmet."

"You look tired." He said, noticing the circles under my eyes.

"I don't sleep very often." I said quietly hoping he would drop it. He did. It got quiet after that. I threw away my wrapper and started to head out into the living room.

"Where are you going?" Emmett.

"I'm gonna run to the mall."

"You do realize its two and a half miles from here?" I nodded. "Would you mind if I came with you? I was planning on going on a jog by the beach, but this way I could get to know you better." He sounded like a hopeful little kid. I also noticed that he was dressed for a work out.

"Yeah that's fine." I was actually happy I was not going to be alone. I waited for him while he put his bowl in the sink and wrote a note to Rose.

I grabbed my back pack on the way out and Emmett grabbed two water bottles.

We started off running. He was pretty fast, but we kept up with one another. Running was like my escape next to dancing. I hadn't danced since a year before everything happened. I had to work and go to school to keep myself fed and clothed. Since my mom was always too drunk to go to work. I was a pretty good dancer, but I only did it to relax and have fun.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Emmett stop.

"We are about a mile away." He informed me.

"ok. Do you want to walk for a while?"

"Yeah is that ok?" I nodded. I pulled my back pack in front of me and grabbed two waters out of the big pocket. He thanked me when I handed one to him.

"So why did you really come with me?" I asked genuinely curious. I noticed he blushed.

"I um…well I need to ask you something and I wanted to get to know you since I am dating your sister…" He trailed off.

"oh so what did you need to ask me?"

"Why don't we hold off on that for a while?"

"ok…….so can I ask you something?" when he nodded I started off with my first question.

"How did you meet Rose and Jasper?"

"Well they moved in with us after college was over. Our parents are very generous when it comes to other people needing help, and when we met your siblings at school, they were struggling to pay for housing." He replied.

While we walked we would trade off questions. I learned a lot about him, his family, and even my family. He felt like a big brother.

When we reached the mall he asked what I was here for. I didn't think about if he came I would have to tell him about me dancing. I felt comfortable around him, but I have never told anyone I dance for fear that it would go wrong just like everything else in my life. Well that may be over exaggerating but you get the point.

"I um….I da-dance, and I need new shoes." I struggled out looking at the entrance.

"Oh that's cool. I didn't know that."

"Yeah I um…never really tell anyone." I said. Hoping he understood I didn't really want anyone to know.

"Oh. Well your secret is safe with me." He winked.

I laughed and thanked him. We reached the store; dance, and walked inside. **(A/N not a real store. I think.) **I went straight to the shoe aisle and started looking for ballet shoes. I found a pair of black ballet flats with a tie on the end of them. I took them up to the counter and asked for a size seven. The girl who I asked for the shoe in my size took it and nodded with her mouth hung open, while staring at Emmett. I laughed when she left.

After I tried them on when she brought them back I decided I was going to get them. So we walked back up to the counter and the same worker rang them up.

"The original price is $186, but since you are his sister, I think I can give you a discount if I get your number." She said trying to look seductive at Emmett. I saw him wink at me out of the corner of my eye. Its funny that she just automatically decided to mark me as his sister.

"Sure. Do you have a pen?" He took the pen from the dazed girl and wrote down a number on her arm.

We left the store and I though the poor girls jaw was going to fall off. The total came to $145. Dang I should take him shopping with me more often.

"So that wasn't really your number right?" I asked when we reached the door to leave again.

I laughed as he slapped a hand to his heart in mock horror.

"I am appalled. That you would think that I think she was worthy of my telephone number." He said. "No but really I would never do anything to hurt your sister and that is why I gave her Rose's number." He said with a devious smile. That girl is going to end up in tears when Rose gets a hold of her.

I pulled my back pack in front of me and shoved the bag inside. When I started to put it back on my shoulders, my stomach growled. Emmett looked at me and laughed.

"Let's get home so that monster doesn't pop out!" I smacked him on the arm, but laughed with him. We started walking and took turns asking questions. We were about twenty feet away from the house when he stopped.

"So, I was wondering if I could ask you that um…question now?" I nodded. "Well I wanted to get to know you better; so that you would give me your blessing along with Jasper's to ask Rose to marry me. I love her so much, and I want to make sure you would be ok with that." He looked up at me with this look written all over his face that showed Rose meant the world to him.

Tears started forming in my eyes. I was so glad that Rose had the chance to meet him. I was also happy that I was finally beginning to feel like I was part of something other than a crumbling puzzle that was missing too many pieces to even realize what the picture was.

I looked at Emmett and he stood there uncomfortably probably wondering why I was crying. I smiled, as a sign to show him that I was not upset.

He smiled back, understanding. I walked up to him and threw my arms around him.

"Make her happy." I whispered to him as I pulled away. His smile was still lit up on his face. He understood with those three simple words that was all I wanted for her, and even him.

We ran the rest of the way to the house after I dried my eyes. I laughed as Emmet opened the door and bowed like he was a servant. We were about to part at the stairs when he stopped in front of me.

"By the way, as you walk in the front door there is a bookcase. If you pull that out from the left side there is a room that would probably be great for you to dance in. It used to be Edwards music room. You should check it out." I nodded and he started up the stairs.

"Ok….and Emmett? Thanks….for asking me." I said, the happiness pouring through my voice. He flashed me a smile and dashed up the stairs. I walked towards the kitchen and everyone was sitting at the table except Rose, Carlisle, and Esme.

"Hey Bella! Where were you guys?" Jasper asked me.

"Oh I wanted to go for a run, and Emmett wanted to tag along." Jasper smiled in an understanding of why Emmett came with me.

"Well there is breakfast on the counter. We saved some for you." Alice.

I ate while they talked. No one would give up any clues as to what we were going to do tonight. Alice started talking about me dating someone and I needed to leave the room. I told them I had some things to do, and rinsed my plate off. My eyes met the brilliant green pair that have haunted my closed eyes, for a moment and they were glazed over with hurt. I needed to dance, so I could focus on that anything but reality. So I ran up stairs and changed into a red camisole and a pair of navy blue shorts that reached a little above mid thigh. I grabbed my new shoes out of the box, along with my I pod and I home, and headed back down. I was quiet so no one would see them in my hand.

When I reached the bookcase I pulled it out just as instructed by Emmett. There was a narrow passage way with ten or so steps that lead down. I walked down and at the end of it there was a light switch. I flicked it on and there was a room about the size of my room times two. It had wooden floors and one of the walls was made into a large mirror. It was perfect, so I laid down my stuff, and realized I forgot a water bottle. I didn't want to go back in there but I needed water. When I made it back up the stairs I walked over to the door and heard Edward's voice.

"Alice she is a big girl. You don't need to set her up with people. She doesn't want you to meddle into her life." Even though that was partly true, who was he to speak for me?

"And how the hell would you know what she wants. You won't even go near her." The usually peppy tinker bell threw back in a voice that even made me shiver.

"Why do you think she left the room Alice?"

I decided to just go in and stop this. I opened the door, and it seemed like time stopped. No one moved. Edward had this blank stare on his face and Alice's jaw was open as far as it would go.

"Don't. Please just don't. Don't fight over me. It was no big deal." I whispered as tears stung my eyes.

I walked over to the fridge and pulled out a water. As I made it back to the door someone spoke. I expected it to be Alice, but it wasn't.

"Bella…." He whispered.

"No. Don't apologize. Just don't fight over me. I spent most of my life with out my family you don't need to, over something as stupid as a fight." I said quietly with a strong voice, facing the door the whole time.

I left the room and still couldn't hear a thing. So I ran back down into the room and went over to my things. I slipped the shoes on and sat Indian style on the floor.

When I found the song I was looking for I turned it on high. I stood up and started in the middle of the room. My body felt like I was running again. My hands went to the side then followed one another into the air.

**Where are the people that accused me?  
The ones who beat me down and bruised me  
they hide just out of sight, can't face me in the light  
they'll return but I'll be stronger**

My breathing was slowing and yet I couldn't stop thinking. Pictures flashed behind my closed eyelids as my body swayed to the music.

**Sometimes it's hard to just keep going**

_You're worthless just like your sister was. _

**Can I trust what I can't see to reach my destiny?**

_Get out of my house. I don't give a shit about you._

**I want to take control but I know better**

_Are you crazy? _

**God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been  
I want to go there, this time I'm not scared**

Suddenly I was spinning. My hands landed on the floor, my feet up in the sir and then I landed. My feet struck the wood.

_I'm…sor….I cant._

**God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been  
I want to go there, this time I'm not scared  
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable  
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me**

I fell to my knees. Tears that I had been holding in started falling. I was so tired of crying it made me sick to my stomach, but I couldn't stop it. Defeated by the impossible. I slammed my closed fists into the wood, and ignored the throbbing. I pushed my self up and enclosed my legs with my arms to my chest. As my tears started falling I heard footsteps going up the stairs that lead to the opening. I hopped up onto my feet to go look, but no one was there.

After I gathered my things and took off my shoes I walked back up stairs and filled the bath tub up with water. When it was full I turned off the water and stepped in after removing my clothes. The water was washing the day off my skin. I couldn't hear anything for a minute, but then I started hearing his guitar again. It was a soft melody and after a minute the chords didn't sound right. I heard him mumble to himself and then something hit the floor.

I stepped out of the water and wrapped a towel around myself. Once I was dressed and pulling a brush threw my hair I heard a knock from the bathroom door.

"Ya?" I hesitated.

"Um..could I come in…really quick? I uh…need to talk to you."

"Sure…" I trailed off. The door opened and in stepped Edward.

"Look…I am….we are both sorry that we were talking about you. I thought you were out of the room."

I thought for a minute.

"So if I was out of the room it would have been ok?" I said my voice hanging on a cliff that dropped into a pit of anger.

"Well…no I just…ugh I can't think straight around you. I end up doing stuff I shouldn't, saying things I shouldn't, and even feeling……." He paused looking shocked at his own words. "Like I can't get you to understand that I don't want you...in my life." His words harsh and low still stung like playing with fire.

I could feel the tears again. Those dreaded non ending tears started surfacing again. I looked up and realized he wasn't looking me in the eyes.

"Why?" I started.

"Bella you should stay…" I cut him off.

"Tell me w-why. Tell me why and I will stop. Stop talking to you. Stop looking your way."

He was quiet. After a couple of seconds he shook his head, his eyes burning into the wall, not looking at me.

"I can't." He turned and walked out of my room.

I didn't understand why. I was supposed to be the one leaving here. He left. Then I started seeing what had been so hidden since the day I met him. That look of fear that always glazed over his eyes. It wasn't just because he was scared of the past. He was scared to let anyone inside his neatly constructed walls.

And for once in my life I understood why. Because those walls that he has blocking the world out, were the same one that shielded me from the world only months ago. The same ones that are still carefully constructed, but have a door that lets people in every once in a while.

A/N

Ok I'm stopping this chapter here. I already started on the next chapter so it shouldn't be that long. Thanks for sticking with me. Tell me what you think!!!

-sweettartcrazy


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